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On this webpage one may find informative materials relating to the methods and means by which one can contact, and communicate with, the company Ursus Arctos With an Increased Cranial Capacity and Greater Knowledge than its Counterparts of the Same Species, who are not as Knowledgeable. If you wish to communicate with the aforementioned company, you may do so by one of the methods listed below on this web page, which include postal service, telephone, and electronic mail ("e-mail"). The management regrets to inform the viewers of this web page that fax number and floo network adress cannot be provided at this time.

Mailing Address:
Smarter Bear
405 Waltham St
Lexington, MA 02421-7934

(888) 909-BEAR

customer service, sales, or use the form below.

PLEASE BE ADVISED: This form should not be used for attempting communication with extraterrestrial races. Such use of the form will result in the implosion of the universe as we know it*, and the destruction of all cookbook authors (in accordance with code 445, set down by the Universal Committee of Dunkin Donuts(tm) Patrons, year 98).

*The universe as it is known to graham crackers will remain the same, as they have no conciousness and therefore cannot perceive the universe.


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